


[THE PODFIC] Here and Where You Are

by QueenVee1



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: All the swears, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Darcy Has Powers, Drama, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Non Stop Pop Culture References, OT3, Oral Sex, Pining, Podfic, Polyamory, Sex, ShieldShock - Freeform, Slow Burn, Smut, Stucky - Freeform, Threesome, Tony Stark Has A Heart, UST, WinterShieldShock - Freeform, WinterShock - Freeform, all the Avengers need therapy, framily, wintershield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:20:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 87
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenVee1/pseuds/QueenVee1
Summary: Here and Where You Are:THE PODFIC!This is the shiny PodFic version!Hear the words! Feel the happiness/joy/heartache/angst and all the other things you loved about the original!New to this bit of fiction? Enjoy the words from my brain meat!
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster/Thor Odinson, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 74
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Here and Where You Are](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11899680) by [QueenVee1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenVee1/pseuds/QueenVee1). 



> Oh, my lovely friends! How I've missed you!!
> 
> Finally! This has been a long time in the making! Had to learn a whole new skills set to bring you even more of this story!
> 
> TBH, I'm not sure how often this will update. I'd _love_ for it to be weekly, but I'm not sure how feasible that is.
> 
> In any case, I really hope you enjoy this peek into how things sound in my head!
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains major character death (non-graphic). The story is also tagged with 'Angst with a happy ending'. Please consume these words according to your own mental needs! Stay safe!**  
> 
> 
>   
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis learns not to grab glowing stones.

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [HaWYA Chapter One](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/hawya-chapter-one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are... dark.  
> I feel it every day, and I'm sure you do, too.  
> It's hard to hold onto light when the obstacles in your way try to dim it.  
> But.  
> But you are _strong_.  
> And _smart_.  
> And worth so much more than you know.  
> You're not alone. There are hundreds, thousands, _millions_ of hearts that cry out like yours, like mine, looking for something to believe in.  
> I believe in you.  
> I _believe_ in you!  
> YOU GOT THIS!


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets the results of her tests. Yay for science!

[Victoria Haacke](https://soundcloud.com/user-455727520) · [Here and Where You Are - Chapter Two](https://soundcloud.com/user-455727520/here-and-where-you-are-chapter-two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do something for yourself today.  
> Something that makes you smile.  
> Not necessarily something you _need_ to do, but something you _want_ to do.  
> Let your hair down a little.  
> Sing to yourself in the car without caring who sees.  
> Be your most authentic, most awesome you!  
> <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's blood has been taken so many times she's lost count. Let's here it for science!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ello! Anyone else feel like this Tuesday was a Monday in disguise?  
> Here's your next dose of this ditty!  
> <3

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Three](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-three)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're stronger than you could ever imagine.  
> When the world continues to fall apart.  
> When the rain is falling and there's no blue sky in sight.  
> Look inside yourself.  
> Listen.  
> You know all the words to this song, but your voice still quakes.  
> Strength. It's there, under the surface. Feel it beating under the skin of your neck.  
> You _got_ this!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get... complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday, and I wanted to give you a little something to get you through the weekend! <3<3<3

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Four](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-four)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The word 'enough' is a double-edged sword.  
> Some don't have it.  
> Some have had enough of it.  
> Some feel they aren't.  
> Some think they are.  
> All these feelings and emotions cloud the head, make it harder to breathe.  
> Let me carry some of the weight for you, for just a little while.  
> Because you _are_ enough.  
> You are _more_ that enough.  
> You're a bright, shining jewel, brilliant and winking.  
> I'm star struck.  
> <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get... _more_ complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Tuesday update? Why the hell not?!  
> <3<3<3

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Five](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-five)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is worthy of love.  
> Not everyone is worthy of _your_ love.  
> You are worthy of love.  
> Not everyone's love is _for you_.  
> \- Akenya.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Bucky experience their connection and everything that comes with it, including the heartache of missing Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle Listeners, you'll be getting TWO chapters this weekend!  
> Trying to catch up on some stuff, including this.  
> Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by!!  
> <3

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Six](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-six)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breath in.  
> Deep breath out.  
> Again.  
> Fill your lungs.  
> Stretch your arms over you head.  
> You're made of stardust and billion-year-old energy.  
> You're amazing.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky Number Seven!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Seven](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-seven-1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest in Peace and Power, Chadwick.
> 
>   
> 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Steve is still radio silent, Natasha checks on Darcy and Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love chapter eight!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Eight](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-eight)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest in Peace and Power, Chadwick.
> 
>   
> 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony speaks with Steve about Darcy, Bucky speaks with Friday about Steve, and Darcy is not surprised when Bucky pulls a move straight out of her playbook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope Chapter Nine is worth the time!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Nine](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-nine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mirror is a fickle beast. There are days where I don't even want to look at myself. Too stark. Too tired. Too blah. It's hard, I know. I feel it, too. I'm sure there are plenty out there that understand.
> 
> But...
> 
> I wish you could see yourself like I see you. That glint in your gaze? The sparkle in your smile? It's breathtaking. Your soul shines so brightly I need to grab shades! You might not see it, but I do, and its gorgeous.
> 
> Don't dim that light. Blast it out there for everyone to see! Let us bask in it! I wanna warm my face in the radiance of you!
> 
> <3<3<3


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Darcy and Steve have the conversation that's been needed for weeks. Darcy gets a reprieve from Compound Arrest. Bucky and Steve make up for lost time. (NC-17 scene)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Ten! Coming to your ear holes!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Ten](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-ten)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's this little voice inside of us.  
> It can be a whisper, but sharp as the words cut likes knives.  
> It can be a scream, building in our throat and making it hard to breathe.  
> It can be hard, like gravel, as you feel your knees drug along rocks and scraping open.  
> It can be soft, a gentle hand guiding us, telling us everything will be okay.  
> The hardest part of this voice is that it sounds like us, every timbre, every vowel, every confession. We believe it when it tells us we're not good enough, that it's pointless to try, that we don't matter to the people we love as much as they matter to us.  
> But It's a lie. The voice isn't just us.  
> It's every insult that's been hurled our way.  
> It's every abuse we've suffered at the hand of someone we love.  
> It's every hateful, bigoted, unfair and unkind thing we've had to endure, trying to turn us dark. Trying to silence the strength we hold inside.  
> It's okay if that voice is all you can hear right now. Just know this: you're stronger than it is. The clouds will clear and you'll be able to see every inch, every foot, every important milestone yet to come.  
> So break.  
> It's okay.  
> There are certain souls that are made stronger by breaking apart and being put back together again.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Darcy and Steve try their hand at dating. It’s eight levels of adorably awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Eleven!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Eleven](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-eleven)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we're not alright.  
> And that's alright.  
> We need to be allowed to hurt.  
> Allowed to cry.  
> Not forever.  
> But we can break.  
> Then put ourselves back together.  
> It's okay not to be alright.  
> <3


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bruce take Darcy on a shopping spree that ends in heartache. Bucky and Steve deal with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Twelve is here!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twelve](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twelve)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The struggle can seem useless, the anxiety can be overwhelming, and when no relief is on the way, every step can be painful.
> 
> I know. I deal with the same worries every day. The ups and downs. The uncertainty. The exhaustion. 
> 
> When everything is black, and heavy, and when all you want to do is let go, that is when you should reach out. Your mind may be telling you that no one cares, but it's not true. I care. I care about your happiness, and your hope. I care about the you you show the world, and the you that no one sees except the mirror. 
> 
> Maybe you didn't need this note today. Maybe today is an up day and you're floating on a cloud of positivity. If that's the case, then I am so happy for you. Your smile is dazzling. Seeing your eyes light up is like the sun. 
> 
> But, on the days when you do need to know someone is out there, thinking of you, just remember this note. I'm here. I see you. I value you. If this is the sign you needed to get through one more day, I've got my hand stretched out for you and my grip is strong. You are stronger than you know. 
> 
> <3


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Steve, and Bucky have a movie night, Bucky and Steve embrace the flames (NC-17), and Clint Barton introduces himself to Darcy and her foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Thirteen, coming at you hot on a Friday!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Thirteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-thirteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done, and another chance for me to tell you how proud of you I am! Whether it's running a fortune 500 company, or just dragging yourself out of bed to get food from the kitchen, you are doing so good! You might not see the progress, but it's only a matter of time. The power you've got burning in your chest if off the charts. Each beat of your heart takes you closer to your next goal!
> 
> I might not know who you are, but you're taking time out of your busy life to seek out some comforting words, knowing you clicked on this story fills me with happy bubbles! And now? ONTO THE NEXT!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Jane discuss the future, Darcy meets with Maria Hill, and the boys and Darcy have their first fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! Chapter Fourteen! On a *Sunday*?? The world is nuts!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Fourteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-fourteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People like to say 'the struggle is real'. It's true.  
> But we get to _choose_ how we struggle.  
> Struggle to be the light in a sea of darkness.  
> Struggle to hold onto yourself even when everything around you is falling.  
> Struggle to show your fellow men what you'd want shown to you.  
> You'll be amazed how quickly the world changes when it realizes you won't let it win.  
> You're stronger than you know.  
> <3


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Darcy, and Steve decide to take their relationship to the next level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> Chapter Fifteen, coming at you to make your Monday better!! <3

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Fifteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-fifteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay to be sad. There's no shame in crying.  
> Be angry. Scream into a pillow to release the tension.  
> Feel the anxiety biting up and down your arms and acknowledge it for what it is.  
> Do the things that always lift your spirits and don't let anyone tell you you're not worth it.  
> Once you let it out, once you let it float into the void, that's when you can let it go.  
> Choose to focus on the next great thing, because it's only a matter of time.  
> Nothing lasts forever, not even pain. It's all a part of this journey.  
> Windows down, music up. Bump it.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Darcy and Steve sate the fire that's been raging inside them for weeks. (NC-17)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> Chapter Sixteen! It has arrrrrrrrrived!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Sixteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-sixteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be kind to yourselves.  
> It's easier said than done, I know.  
> No one is meant to carry all that weight on their shoulders.  
> Roll them back, let out your breath.  
> Let yourself feel things without feeling selfish.  
> Just because others have it worse doesn't mean your pain is less valid.  
> Everyone needs help sometimes.  
> Asking for help does not make you less strong.  
> Allow yourself to grieve.  
> Friends and family you've lost.  
> Opportunities that didn't pan out.  
> Wishes and dreams that still need to be realized.  
> You've got such possibilities inside.  
> Don't let them fade.  
> <3


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Science Squad (Tony, Bruce, Jane and Peter) try to find a solution to one of Darcy's problems, and Steve ponders his changing emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Seventeen!!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Seventeen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-seventeen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a quote and I want to ponder on it a bit.  
>  **"We mature with the damage, not with the years."**  
>  Damage - whether it be physical, mental, or emotional - doesn't always leave scars.  
> We carry that hurt around in a body that was never made to do so.  
> There are times when you look at others the same age as you, and you can't help but think they're so _young_.  
> Damage can steal your childhood, and your kindness, and your softness.  
> It can be an act of rebellion to refuse to swallow what they tell you is proof that you're whole and real.  
> It's okay if your heart is a little older and a little more bruised.  
> You're _you_ , something no one else can be, and that's _beautiful_.  
> 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns some interesting information while training with Clint and she finally meets Pepper Potts and Nick Fury. Steve doesn't enjoy the topic of conversation with Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Eighteen is heeeeere!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Eighteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-eighteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all have darkness and demons that follow us around.  
> Lurking in the darkness, waiting for the right moment to strike.  
> They know when we're at our smallest, know exactly how to knock at our confidence.  
> Some days they're too loud to ignore.  
> That's okay.  
> We can fall down and still get up.  
> We can fight against the things that want to tear us down.  
> Keep your insides bright. Light against those shadows.  
> You can stumble.  
> You can fail.  
> What matters is that you get back up.  
> Whether it's through the help of a friend, or family, or a therapist.  
> Whether it's through medications that keep you present.  
> Whether you're left there standing on your own.  
> I know. I care. And I'm here.  
> If only you could see yourself through my eyes.  
> Look how you shine!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve do their best to comfort and encourage a very anxious Darcy, Tony and Bruce do their best to comfort and encourage a very anxious Darcy, and Darcy does her best not to kill anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Nineteen is here for your listening pleasure!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Nineteen](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-nineteen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grief is like an open wound.  
> You feel it with every twitch of your muscles, the pain suddenly blooming anew with any wrong stretch.  
> It hurts.  
> It never really goes away.  
> But  
> Even though the pain is drowning now, you've just got to hold your breath a few more seconds.  
> You will surface.  
> You will breathe again without breaking.  
> Just hold out your hand.  
> We've got you.  
> <3 <3 <3


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets some bad news. Bucky offers solace. Steve offers his time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Twenty!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People like to say 'the struggle is real'. It's true.  
> But we get to choose how we struggle.  
> Struggle to be the light in a sea of darkness.  
> Struggle to hold onto yourself even when everything around you is falling.  
> Struggle to show your fellow men what you'd want shown to you.  
> You'll be amazed how quickly the world changes when it realizes you won't let it win.  
> You're stronger than you know.  
> <3


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Steve head to where Darcy grew up so she can say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to update this baby pretty regularly, so here comes twenty-one!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty One](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty-one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we're not alright.  
> And that's alright.  
> We need to be allowed to hurt.  
> Allowed to cry.  
> Not forever.  
> But we can break.  
> Then put ourselves back together.  
> It's okay not to be alright.  
> <3


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Darcy comfort each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Twenty-Two! Coming right at youuuu!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty Two](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty-two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be kind to yourselves.  
> It's easier said than done, I know.  
> No one is meant to carry all that weight on their shoulders.  
> Roll them back, let out your breath.  
> Let yourself feel things without feeling selfish.  
> Just because others have it worse doesn't mean your pain is less valid.  
> Everyone needs help sometimes.  
> Asking for help does not make you less strong.  
> Allow yourself to grieve.  
> Friends and family you've lost.  
> Opportunities that didn't pan out.  
> Wishes and dreams that still need to be realized.  
> You've got such possibilities inside.  
> Don't let them fade.  
> <3


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Darcy return from their trip but don't get a moment of rest. As her boys are needed in Wakanda, Darcy does her best to ignore the ball of worry in her gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serving up Chapter Twenty-Three, hot and delicious!!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty - Three](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty-three)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately I've been considering things that end in 'ing' and whether or not they're doing harm.  
> For example: Apologizing. Am I apologizing because I did something that I should truly apologize for or am I apologizing because I'm afraid what will happen if I don't?  
> Am I regretting because I'm honestly missing out, or do I just fear being left out?  
> Questioning.  
> Loving.  
> Hating.  
> Cultivate the life you want, weed out the stuff that hurts, and take a step into the light without the weight of verbs on your shoulders.  
> <3


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy annoys Peter and misses her boys. Steve and Bucky return to Wakanda and meet with friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Twenty Four... Even more for you to love!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty - Four](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty-four-1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see you.  
> Struggling with that weight on your shoulders.  
> Sometimes it feels too heavy for one person to carry alone.  
> But you're not alone.  
> You can't see them, but you've got wings on your back.  
> They'll carry you where you need to go.  
> It's okay if they're broken now.  
> One day you'll soar.  
> 


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy attempts to navigate her day without her boys. Steve and Bucky, thousands of miles away, court battles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're not even halfway done with this baby! Here comes Chapter Twenty Five!

[GoddessVicky](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228) · [Chapter Twenty - Five](https://soundcloud.com/user-704596228/chapter-twenty-five-1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some days it's so loud that you can't hear a thing.  
> Every darkness screaming at you that you're not enough.  
> It's hard to overlook your mistakes, I know, but there is something out there, waiting to be seen:  
> Potential  
> The potential to make.  
> The potential to feel.  
> The potential to love.  
> The potential to be more than anyone else could imagine.  
> There are so many potential lives out there, just waiting to be chosen.  
> The potential to help.  
> The potential to make a difference.  
> The potential to bring light and brightness to everyone you meet.  
> Think of the things you want to stand for, the things you want to support, the things you value.  
> It's all there. Waiting.  
> Grab it with both hands and never let go.  
> 


End file.
